Sarah Palin To Run For President — Of Own Fan Club

"Sarah" "Palin" "fan" "club" "Palinaholics" "president"

Sarah Palin is no stranger to being her own publicist and making sure she gets as much attention as possible at all times no matter good or bad, but it seems the former governor of Alaska would like to take over the reins of her own fan club.

The once vice presidential nominee has had a rather large following of adoring fans since her first appearance on the national stage during the 2008 presidential election. Women with no prior knowledge of history or world events adore her and men above the age of fifty love her for other reasons, primarily her street smarts and ability to handle long-shafted firearms.

The current president of  “Sarah Palinaholics” is Audrey Kipperton. Kipperton founded the group in the summer of 2008 once Palin was announced as John McCain’s running-mate. “She just embodies everything good and decent about America. She’s pretty, loves God, cares about the second amendment, and words things in ways that even us simple-mided folk can understand,” said Kipperton. “Some folks don’t like her, and I don’t like those folks. Honestly, what’s not to like? Those liberal elitists and the lame-stream media have nothing on sweet Sarah… nothing.”

Upon hearing that Palin wanted to run for president of “Sarah Palinaholics” Kipperton said, “Well, if anyone loves her more than me, it’s probably her. I’m still gonna put my name in the hat, but Sarah will likely win the club election.” 

When Free Wood Post asked Palin why she wanted to be the president of her own fan club she replied, “Well, you know, who knows me more than me? Who loves me more than me? I mean c’mon guys, it’s a no-brainer. We need someone in charge of this club that can put their all-good-know-how-scrubdiddlyumptious-hometown-flare-tenderness into making the Sarah Palin brand bigger and better than ever. Cause you know, who knows? Maybe being president of my own fan club will lead to being the president of bigger and better things, like you know, the NRA (she winks implying we thought she was going to say President of the United States).”

The “Sarah Palinaholics” fan club is planning their vote for the end of the month and currently Palin is neck in neck with Kipperton. Free Wood Post will keep you up to date with election results.

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