PYONGYANG – North Korean Supreme Commander Kim Jong-un is enlisting help from an unexpected source in his efforts to make his own mark on the world: US Representative, Michele Bachmann (R-Minn).
“Father was a tower of bat-shit-crazy,” Jong-un said of the former Supreme Commander, Kim Jong-il, in a statement to the Korean Central News Agency. “The only way I can make a mark of my own on the world for the glory of North Korea is to get training from number one bat-shit-crazy political leader left after Father’s death: the American, Michele Bachmann.”
Sources close to Jong-un say that while he has struggled to get out of his father’s shadow, hopes in North Korea are now high that with Bachmann’s help he will soon outdo the notoriously insane Jong-il.
“If anyone can help the Supreme Commander surpass his glorious father,” an unidentified source said, “it is Bachmann. Her unscientific, paranoid, self-aggrandizing style was long admired and mimicked by the late Kim Jong-il.”
Bachmann, however, denied having anything to do with North Korea or its leadership. “This is an effort by Democrats to distract attention from North Korea’s weapons program,” she said from her tinfoil-lined office in Washington, DC. “Democrats are fascist-communists giving American children autism so North Korea can take over the world!”