BOSTON, MA — It has come to the attention of the FBI that alleged Boston marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was never good at the game ‘Hide-and-Seek’ as a child. His childhood friends in Cambridge tried for a long time to teach him the game, but he may have learned too late in life seeing as he moved to the United States when he was 10 or 11.
The FBI was pleased to learn this information as it may well have led to the capture of the 19-year-old suspect. “He left too many clues,” said one former friend of Tsarnaev. “He should’ve known better than to cut the rope of a boat and let it look like something was amiss. We always told him to make it look as though where you are hiding is as it always looks, but he obviously never learned that lesson.”
It seems the FBI, ATF, Boston PD, as well as the local law enforcement officers in Watertown, MA were the winners of this match, and thank goodness for that. Governor Deval Patrick said, “It’s a good thing he was no pro at Hide-and-Seek. It’s a good thing for the city, the Commonwealth, and the nation. We got him thanks to the diligence of our law enforcement officers and the vigilance of our citizens who apparently mastered the skill of seeking long ago. Many thanks to everyone involved.”