Michigan Republicans have introduced a bill requiring all women to undergo a transvaginal ultrasound before obtaining an abortion. In addition, the sonogram picture must be posted to the woman’s Facebook account. If the picture receives at least 10 likes within a period of 2 hours, any abortion of that fetus will be prohibited by law.
The legislation introduced Tuesday specifies that the “performance of a diagnostic ultrasound examination of the fetus at least two hours before an abortion is performed” and requires her also provide her Facebook name and password. A posting of the fetal images will be made with public scope and the number of likes will be counted before the abortion is to be initiated. Ten likes or more will disallow the procedure. Refusal to allow the Facebook posting will also invalidate the procedure. The bill was introduced by Representative Joel Johnson (R) and cosponsored by 22 other dickheads.
Johnson was not available for comment, but his legislative aide, Ben Frederick, confirmed that, while the legislation does not specifically describe women as the dirty sluts that they are, he assumes that the ultrasound and Facebook postings will hopefully shame them
“These are important decisions that need to be made. We don’t want to allow these women to make these decisions by themselves without first running them by their Aunt Edith and her church group. Or at least without checking with that creepy kid who you went to shop class with in eight grade.”