McCain at Confirmation Hearing: One Day I’ll Get All Those Nasty Smurfs!

"McCain" "Gargamel" "Hagel" "Senate" "Hearings" "confirmation" "smurfs"

WASHINGTON D.C. — It seems Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) may have revealed something unintentionally Thursday during Defense Secretary Nominee Chuck Hagel’s confirmation hearing.

Amidst question after question to Hagel regarding the Iraq War surge and other defense matters McCain suddenly stood up, pointed his finger, look directly at the CSPAN camera and said, “It’s not enough! It’s never enough! I need more! I need more! No one seems to care anymore. I look around this room and all I see are plebeians suited to protect their cause!”

Not really knowing what Sen. McCain was talking about Hagel responded, “With all do respect senator, it was never my job to agree with everything you ever said.”

“Bagh!” said McCain. “Do you even know who you are protecting? This has nothing to do with Iraq. Nothing! This has nothing to do with Vietnam. This has to do with everyone always badmouthing me over my ideas to reduce the national deficit. Gold! We need gold! And I know how to get it!”

Perplexed and bewildered that the Defense Secretary confirmation hearings had gotten terribly out of hand Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) called for a brief recess to allow Sen. McCain the opportunity to calm down and perhaps come to his senses.

In a private conversation off to the side, but still picked up on the microphone McCain was overheard telling Graham, “One day I’ll get all those nasty Smurfs! Our deficit will cease to exist! If I can get enough of those Smurfs we’d be swimming in gold! Our world will be at peace, and for once people would know that it was ME who made the proper decision!”

Mouth agape and left wondering if his colleague is the true to life Gargamel, Sen. Graham quietly ushered Sen. McCain out of the hearing and outside for some fresh air.

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