Thirty million people across America tuned in to watch Thursday evening’s well-hyped interview of disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong by Oprah Winfrey, practically all of them shortly after discovering that they actually received OWNTV and that it was indeed Oprah’s cable network.
“How long have I had this? Are you telling me I’ve been missing these Dr. Phil reruns all this time?” asked Beverly Mattson of Indianapolis, Indiana.
“I saw that before, but I thought it was a shopping network. She should have put her name on the network or something so it would be more obvious,” said Betty Holliday of Carson City, Nevada.
“Are you sure it isn’t?” added her sister Molly. “I am pretty sure I bought a Snuggie and some colon cleanse off of there.”
“I thought Oprah retired. What the hell is this?” asked self-described Oprah fanatic Terry Yates.
Early results are indicating that it was a ratings smash. The 30 million viewers are an increase of 1.3 million percent over the average Thursday evening OWNTV viewer total of 23 people. The two-part 2.5 hour production is expected to pull in a record advertising haul after successfully selling out all 130 minutes of ad time.
The 90 minute Part 1 ended in true cliffhanger fashion, with Armstrong apparently just about to admit his use of performance-enhancing drugs.