Google Exec Completes Successful Trip to North Korea by Leaving Alive

Google’s Executive Chairman Eric Schmidt wrapped up a mysterious visit to North Korea this week, telling reporters that the visit had been “an extremely productive one.”

Although details of the trip were not made public, Schmidt said he had spent most of his time abroad meeting with North Korean officials– pressing them to provide increased internet access to the country’s estimated population of 25 million, as well as urging them not to detain and imprison him indefinitely.

“One of my two goals for this journey was in fact realized,” Schmidt later said during an interview with ABC News. “While they did not promise to take steps to lift their widespread ban on the internet, North Korean officials did allow me to leave their country alive, and mostly unimpeded. I consider this to be a strong victory for the United States, and a step forward in diplomatic relations between our two countries.”

Schmidt then reportedly fell shakily to his knees and spent several minutes kissing the ground.

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