Chief Spence Demands Simple Meeting with The Queen, Justin Bieber and Pierre Trudeau

Chief Theresa Spence canceled Friday’s meeting with The Prime Minister of Canada and instead demanded a meeting with The Queen of England, Justin Bieber and the late Pierre Trudeau.

The Attawapiskat First Nations Chief Theresa Spence started a hunger strike 30 days ago and since then it has turned into a full-blown diet that surpasses the 21 day hunger strike of Mohandas Ghandi.  Her extreme hunger strike diet consists of water. protein shakes, miso soup and Chystal Light powder.

When asked about her newest selection of demands Chief Spence released the following statement.

Meeting with the Stephen Harper, the Prime Minister of Canada would not meet the requirements the Attawapiskat people need to correct the wrongs which the omnibus bills have done to our people. Harper may be the architect of these bills that infringe upon the rights of the Attawapiskat people, but the Prime Minister does not have the authority to fix Bills C-45, C-38 and C-3PO. This is why I, on behalf of the Attawapiskat people am demanding to meet with the following three official leaders of Canada:

1) The Queen of England: Two days ago we were to meet with the Prime Minister. Yesterday I wanted to meet with the Governor General. So today I want to meet with the Queen of England, the one and true representative and figure-head of the Crown. She has the power, she wears the Crown, and so we must negotiate with her.

2) Justin Bieber: My demands to meet with Justin Bieber are reasonable. He represents the people of Canada and the future of Canada. Besides, I’ve seen pictures of his new Native American tattoo, so I know how committed he is to representing our people.

3) Pierre Trudeau:  I have never seen a Prime Minister row a canoe so authentically.  My people will not help raise him from the dead. Figure it out. Do not send Justin Trudeau, I will not meet with him.

I have chosen three people who are the past, present and future of Canada.
I will remain Idle until these demands are met,
Chief Theresa Spence,

As Free Wood Post Reporter John McDonald was leaving being forced off Attawapiskat, a band member who asked to remain anonymous for fear of Chief Spence pleaded to be heard.

“Please, listen to our people and the other Chiefs. We have legitimate concerns that need to be heard.”

On behalf of the media, we will try our best, but it’s hard to ignore outrageous news.

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