Goodell Suggests Eliminating Football From The NFL

NEW YORK – NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, continuing his efforts to enhance player safety, is mulling a proposal to eliminate football from the NFL.

This comes on the heels of a proposed rule change from Tampa Bay head coach Greg Schiano to eliminate kickoffs.

“Everything is on the table,” said Goodell. “Coach Schiano’s suggestion certainly would cut down on concussions, but we thought we’d take it to the next logical conclusion.”

Reactions from players were swift, and nearly overwhelmingly negative.

“What are we supposed to do, sit around and talk about our feelings?” asked Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis. “That’s crazy. This is the NFL – you can’t eliminate football. That’s nuts!”

New York Jets backup quarterback Tim Tebow was noncommittal. “God will show us the way.”

The impact on television coverage would be profound, said industry insiders.

“We have paid a rather substantial amount of money to broadcast football games,” said Fox Sports president Eric Shanks. “Obviously it would be a tough sell to our viewers to air football-less football. However, we do have some “Temptation Island” concepts we could adapt for NFL players.”

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