House Speaker John Boehner was visited by three ghosts last night and has now agreed to increased taxes on the wealthy as part of a deal to avoid the “fiscal cliff”.
President Obama admitted that he was surprised but has welcomed Boehner’s sudden change of heart. He and Democrats had been arguing for tax hikes on those making over $250,000, while Boehner and the Republicans had only agreed to a nominal tax increase in taxes on those making over $100 Gazillion.
The Speaker failed to give many details, but was apparently visited by the Ghosts of Fiscal Crises Past, Present, and Future. Upon delivering the news, he also brought a large turkey for the President.
Boehner also added that he’s changed his mind on the Affordable Care Act, “because that poor boy Tiny Tim needs to get off those crutches once and get the medicine he needs!”