New Forensic Evidence Shows Grandma Already Dead When Run Over By Reindeer

New forensic evidence has come to light which shows that Grandma was already dead when she was run over by that reindeer.

The case had been considered closed for more than 30 years until 8 recent anonymous tips were received by police. The callers said they were tired of the reindeer and Santa getting a bum rap, but that they were not reindeer, just concerned non-reindeer citizens.

One of the calls included a tip to look in Grandpa’s shed. Police won’t say what was found in the shed, but Freedom of Information Act requests showed that DNA tests were run by the department in the last month. Grandma was exhumed and an autopsy was performed which showed blunt force trauma to the head. It also placed the time of death before the reindeer prints were made on her forehead and the incriminating Claus marks appeared on her back.

Grandpa has been taken into custody and is being held on $200,000 bond.

Police have failed to make any official statement, but grizzled police veteran Lawrence Duke, who worked the case years ago, weighed in on the situation, “There was something about this case that always bothered me. A man’s wife would not let him watch football, drink, or gamble. She always had her medication with her. But then she suddenly has a tragic accident. The next thing you know, the old guy is watching football, drinking, and playing poker with cousin Belle. How did I miss this!”

A preliminary hearing is set for December 25th.

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