Facebook’s New Privacy Policy Allows Access to Personal Email Accounts

Facebook is facing criticism this week as it unveils a new privacy policy that allows them access to users’ private email accounts. According to page 273 of the policy, “Facebook has the right to access user email accounts in order to obtain data to better customize the Facebook experience. We will never give out user names or passwords to any 3rd party with the exception of affiliated organizations.” Facebook also announced that they will be requiring users to submit two email accounts with corresponding passwords to “adequately secure” their Facebook accounts. Finally, Facebook’s new policy states that all users “knowingly license Facebook and/or its affiliates to use any posts, photographs or videos submitted by the user for the company’s advertising, product creation, market research or any other use allowed by law.” Essentially, anything you post is now owned by Facebook.

Privacy advocates are in an uproar over the new privacy policy which they see as a “blatant disregard for the rights and privacy of the individuals using the website.” Many Facebook users have attempted to fight previous policies by posting a “cease and desist” statement on their timelines. However, according to Cyber Privacy Attorney Harold Pinter Esq. of the newly created U.S. Cyberwrite Office, “That post was a hoax and didn’t accomplish anything. However, the protections it offers are needed and thus we have created a postable cyber-statement to help protect the privacy of all Internet users.” In order to stop Facebook and its affiliates from reading and using your private information, Pinter recommends posting the following onto your timeline:

In accordance with §3.8.6(b) of the Uniform Code for Privacy on the Internet, I hereby state that any and all content placed upon my timeline, or that any friend, associate or entity shall place upon my timeline is hereinafter “cyberwrited” by the Cyberwrite Office of the United States of America. Shall any person or entity knowingly use any information, photographs or video from my timeline without my expressed written permission, they shall be in violation of the Cyber Apocryphal Act of 2012 and I shall be reimbursed in the amount of $1,000 for each instance. This statement is both vacuous and lawful and the legal principle of ego sum stultus hoc est satira shall take immediate effect.


Check out more from Orbson Rice:

You can purchase his book “Exposing My Orbs: The Rise of a Liberal Satirist” for only $2.99 on Amazon!


Or read more of his contributions to Free Wood Post:

GOP Celebrates New ‘PreSin’ Pregnancy Prevention Pill

Grand Canyon to be ‘Filled In’ For Theme Park

The Walking Red: The Truth About Florida’s “Zombie” Attack


Orbson Rice is a deeply disturbed professional Writer and Editor. He is also the “Creator” of the blog “The Orbson Oracle” which is thoroughly offensive, often thoughtful and occasionally funny. Stroke your mouse and visit the Oracle to read more or befriend him on Facebook.





Print Friendly, PDF & Email

facebook comments:

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.