Romney “Day One” Plans Now Involve Watching Season 3 of “Lost” on Netflix

Still stinging from his still-fresh electoral defeat to President Barack Obama, Mitt Romney announced that he has changed his plans for “day one” of the presidency from repealing “Obamacare”, re-instituting the Mexico City policy, solving undocumented immigration, submitting a jobs package, sitting down with Republicans and Democrats to forge a long-lasting bipartisanship, approving the Keystone Pipeline, sanctioning China for unfair trade, cutting the federal budget, reducing corporate tax rates, eliminating oppressive Obama regulations, and launching a manned mission to Kolob…to sitting down and watching Season 3 of the television series “Lost” on Netflix.

“I heard it’s pretty good. I don’t know though. A polar bear on an island? A smoke monster? How long can they drag this thing out? I just hope that they explain everything at the end. I can’t take another one of those “Seinfeld” or “Sopranos” endings.”