This week presidential hopeful Mitt Romney released a statement expressing outrage at the President’s refusal to refer to the recent super storm Sandy as “a terrorist act of weather.”
“By refusing to stand up and unilaterally condemn Sandy’s brutal winds and devastating flooding, Obama has put our nation in danger of future attacks by even larger storm systems and rogue terrorist weather networks,” the statement read in part.
Continuing this line of attack at a rally in Ohio, Romney told the crowd that protecting the country’s air-space and coastal areas from weather-related disasters would be the top priority of a Romney-Ryan administration, and that a strict “No-Cloud Zone” would be enforced on day one of his presidency.
“My administration will have a zero-tolerance attitude towards aggressive weather tactics of all kinds,” he said. “This includes enemy attacks in the form of wind, rain, snow, mixed snow and rain, and fog, to name just a few. We would be willing to consider preemptive strikes if necessary.”
He added that these would likely involve firing nuclear missiles into the sky “to deter dangerous weather patterns from approaching the US,” as well as “positioning snipers on high points throughout coastal areas with their weapons trained on potential insurgent weather patterns.”
“We need potential hurricanes and floods to know that they are not welcome here,” he said in closing. “Rather than simply cleaning up after storms, we need to stop them before they start.”