The neo-conservative death metal band ‘God’s Little Rape Babies’ has been receiving a lot more hits to their website lately and music sales are going up. It seems a lot of people have been typing in “God” “rape” and “baby” into their preferred search engine. The band is ecstatic at this new surge of website traffic and wants to thank the man responsible for their new growth of success.
The man responsible for all of GLRB’s new-found glory is none other than Republican senate candidate and current Treasurer of Indiana, Richard Mourdock.
Recently, Mourdock was quoted saying, “And I think even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen.” The band couldn’t agree more, and is why they named their band “God’s Little Rape Babies.” They wanted to honor all embryos brought to term through the conception of forceful intercourse.
To thank the Mourdock the band wrote a letter of gratitude:
Dear Mr. Mourdock
We recently found out that you share similar values to us and verbalized them on the national stage thus pushing people to learn more about your stance on abortion and rape, which in turn ushered people to our fan page. We agree that any form of conception is God’s gift to the world, which is why we named our band “God’s Little Rape Babies.” We write conservative-messaged music to reach all those who will hear. We enjoy the genre of death metal and the name seemed to fit their as well. We owe you a big debt of gratitude for telling people that God intends for rape to happen in order for life to be conceived. After all, the Virgin Mary wasn’t pregnant by consent either. Thanks again, and we look forward to your victory this November.
Blessings of Rape to all,
God’s Little Rape Babies
In response to the letter, God’s Little Rape Babies has been asked to play at an upcoming “Mourdock for Senate” rally in Bedford, Indiana. Both the Republican Senate candidate and the band couldn’t be happier.