Today Donald Trump found himself in the center of a maelstrom of media attention when he offered to donate millions to charity if President Obama agreed to release a Christmas list he allegedly composed at the age of eight.
“I think Americans deserve to know what young Barry wanted for Christmas, back in the day,” Trump said. “Or, you know, for whatever heathen holiday he may have celebrated at that age. The Muslim Kenya version of Christmas, or something.”
Trump noted that the release of such a list would shed light on Obama’s earliest leanings towards socialism. “My guess is, he wanted something for nothing, even in those days,” he said. “A free ride from Santa. It’s sad how little things have changed.”
Critics have speculated as to whether the list may have included any big-ticket items, such as a bicycle or a catcher’s mitt. One source close to the family claims that it definitely included a tub of Legos.
“Can’t you just picture a young Obama constructing his own Lego businesses and then claiming that the government built them?” Trump said.
He added, “I think this list will go a long way in helping establish the President’s true character once and for all. Is he naughty, or nice? Americans have the right to judge for themselves.”