Romney Defense Proposal Actually Includes Bayonets, Horses, and Muskets

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Following President Barack Obama’s line of  “Well, governor, we also have fewer horses and bayonets, because the nature of our military’s changed” in Monday night’s Presidential debate at Lynn University in Boca Raton, Florida, details have emerged from former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney’s defense budget proposal that show plans for actually purchasing more bayonets and horses.

The President has repeatedly referred to Romney’s plan for 2 trillion in additional military spending that “hasn’t even been asked for.”

Indeed, Romney’s plan calls for 500 more horses, because that number is more than the current 176 horses that the army currently maintains and more is of course better. There will also be 3 bayonets issued per soldier, though since ‘bayonet’ is a French word, they will be labeled “Freedom Stabbers.”

In addition to the horses and bayonets, the plan asks for additional construction of 24 ironclad warships, 3 million black powder muskets, 1 million bow and arrow sets, 1 million crossbows, 3000 catapults, 2 suits of armor for each soldier, and 500 chariots “with those cool spinners on the wheels like in the movie Ben Hur.”

Romney has maintained that he may even be interested in adding more of these “ships that hold airplanes” or “ships that go underwater” that President Obama mentioned, as he said these sounded “interesting” and “possibly of some use during global conflicts.”

There has been no response, other than a lot of giggling, to repeated requests for comment by the Obama campaign.



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