Overly-Heated Presidential Debate Raises Suspicions

October 19, 2012
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Many Americans noticed the simmering tension between President Barack Obama and challenger Mitt Romney during their hostile, rancorous town hall-style debate this week, and a growing number have begun to wonder whether the candidates’ feelings towards each other have gone beyond mere political opposition.

“If movies and TV have taught me anything, it’s that the people who appear to hate one another the most are often fighting a secret, forbidden mutual attraction,” said Long Island resident Ed Jones, who attended the debate.  ”And watching those guys aggressively getting up in each other’s faces for hours on Tuesday night made me feel like there was something else going on behind the scenes.”

Added Jones, “Were they battling each other, or their own desperate longings?”

Representatives from both campaigns were quick to scoff at rumors that the each candidate returned to his dressing room after the debate, where he punched the wall and then stared moodily into space for hours.

However, some political analysts remained unconvinced by these vigorous denials.

“Those two candidates are crazy about each other– and it’s so obvious to everyone but them!  Isn’t that always the way it goes?” said MSNBC’s Chris Matthews during the network’s post-event coverage.

Debate moderator Candy Crowley agreed.  ”I almost couldn’t believe it when they started discussing the size of each other’s pensions,” she said.  ”I mean it was like, ‘get a room, you guys!’ “

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