TV evangelist Pat Robertson and martial arts superhero Chuck Norris joined forces rallying together at a worldwide prayer event asking God to send Jesus down a little early and save us from 1000 years of darkness, (as prophesied in Chuck Norris’ recent YouTube video).
They went on to urge voters to do their part in denying President Obama’s 2nd reign. Explaining that if Obama is given a second term “a legion of demons would be unleashed to wreak havoc on society and help enact his evil socialist agenda, destroying all that is good and free.”
According to Robertson, if this were to happen, aside from the loss of countless lives and eternal damnation, the “dirty Chinese” would then have the advantage to finally take us over. Robertson went on to say that “with Chuck Norris behind us we could still prevail but it would be a bloody battle that could best be avoided by voting for Mitt Romney.”
In recent press conference an emotional Obama admitted that it was time to come clean. After years of pressure and accusations from Republicans he must confess “yes, all the problems that we face today in our nation are directly my responsibility. Sure, I inherited a mess from Bush, but with my amazing powers I could have easily fixed it by now. I just figured I’d do that in my second term and enjoy the first one a little. But hey, what are you gonna do about it? You still love me more than Mitt Romney.”
When asked point-blank by a reporter from Fox News if there was any truth to him being the AntiChrist, President Obama smiled deviously and said, “be patient, for the hour of revelation has not yet come…”
Then after a long pause Obama laughed and said “are you kidding me? Seriously, who let this idiot in the room…”