Just weeks into charging the media circuit to promote his “unbelievably true” autobiography Total Recall, Arnold Schwarzenegger has announced the release of a second book, a short memoir about the aforementioned book tour/media blitz. This may seem impossible, even for a man of Schwarzenegger’s prowess, drive, and herculean man power, but in this exclusive, mind-blowing interview, the former Governator sat down with me and explained how and why he wrote Partial Recall.
Lark: First of all Mr. Schwarzenegger, I want to thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule, promoting two books now. Well, okay, I guess that’s what you’re doing here, as well.
Arnold: Yes, it is always a pleasure to sit down with such a lovely lady, I must try hard to behave myself. (laughs) Please call me Arnold.
Lark: Well, thank you. Me too. I’ll have to behave myself. (laughter) Not that you’re a lovely lady. Um, I’m sure if you were a lady you would be a lovely. . . uh. . .
Arnold: (Appears angry or confused, not sure which.)
Lark: Is it difficult to promote two books at once?
Arnold: You know, it’s not difficult. I like a challenge, that’s me, into the eye of the storm. I just looked into the mirror one day and said, “Arnold, you’re not a one book kind of guy.” Sometimes, you know, we just have to accept these things about ourselves.
Lark: So you know everyone will be wondering, the big question here is how? And, before you answer that, I’m going to have a guess, you tell me if I’m right. It’s that you are such a master with these media interviews, you are actually able to predict, months ahead of time, exactly how they will go, everything that will happen. So you wrote the book, essentially ahead of time. Am I right?
Arnold: Well you are right, I do master the media interview, I can predict many things. And, in a way I wrote the book before the interviews, but also after the interviews. It’s very complicated. It’s a paradox, really, like a, what you call that? Mobius strip?
Lark: No, you didn’t. Did you?
Arnold: Yes. I told my publisher, “I’ll be back”. Which was really the difficult part, because I can’t pronounce those short consonant words very easy.
Lark: But, time travel.
Arnold: Well let’s just say, I’ve had some practice. Time travel. There, I said it.
Lark: Why did you write Partial Recall ?
Arnold: I was looking back on all of the interviews, and especially with the Daily Show, Jon Stewart interview, something really bothered me.
Lark: But wait, that was just last week.
Arnold: I know, I know, but I traveled ahead to 2013.
Lark: That’s right, okay. Something bothered you?
Arnold: Yes. I noticed that I completely forgot a number of important details about myself during that interview. I was like a completely different person. I was talking about how much I cared about the environment and clean air, and I even said the most shocking thing. I mean, this is the kind of thing Bernie Sanders might say, I said, I can’t remember every word, but something like, when you are the Governor you work for the people and you have to run the state for the people. That’s your job.
Lark: Yes, I remember that interview, like it was last week. I remember I was shocked when you said that. Well, because, I’ve never heard a Republican say something like that.
Arnold: That’s exactly my point. I did not sound like a Republican and I couldn’t figure out what happened. Stewart even asked me, are you sure you’re a Republican? Or something along those lines. So this is why I went to the future and that’s when I wrote Partial Recall. I wanted to explain these lapses. Turns out, the problem itself is called “partial recall”. In June of 2013 I met with Dr. Judy McGonigal at Stanford, a neurologist.
Lark: You didn’t? You know.
Arnold: I don’t remember. Probably not, it was a professional relationship. She explained that my memory lapses in interviews were all caused by this partial recall syndrome. This is why I didn’t mention many aspects of my personal life and the reason I forgot while on the Daily Show, that I am a Republican.
Lark: Wait a minute. Do you think Romney was suffering from this during the debate, and that’s the reason he forgot about his own tax plan.
Arnold: Oh no. I know Romney does not have this partial recall syndrome. I know this, because he’s the only one who remembered to bring his testicles to the debate. Romney did not forget about his own tax plan.
Lark: You mean?
Arnold: I’m the only one brave enough to say it? He lied. He wants to win the election and he lied. I don’t want to talk about Romney anymore. I wrote Partial Recall to explain what happened during my interviews for Total Recall, that’s all.
Lark: Is this syndrome? This partial recall…
Arnold: “It’s not a tumor!”
Lark: Oh right. Sorry.
Arnold: I have to get to my next interview now.
Lark: Thank you sir, it’s been a pleasure!
Arnold: Hasta la vista, baby!
I know you are all wondering about the election results. Schwarzenegger would not give me an unconditional answer to that question. So, we will all have to wait and see what happens.