Ann Romney: Big Bird ‘Better Look Out Come Thanksgiving’

"Ann" "Romney" "Big" "Bird" "Thanksgiving" "Free " "Wood" "Post"

After her husband Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney saw a big backlash over his comments about PBS and Big Bird, Ann Romney wasted no time in rising to her defense.

“Listen, you uppity yellow-feathered overgrown chicken, you and your associates of questionable parentage on that show aren’t going to deny me my White House,” she said. “There’s a holiday coming up you ought to be aware of. The traditions of Thanksgiving for real Americans demand eating a large bird while honoring the humane and sharing attitudes settlers had toward the brown people that lived here first but were unaware of their need for salvation.”

Candidate Romney took heat from a broad spectrum of Americans who understand that Sesame Street and public television perform a service appreciated and welcomed by millions. Romney was asked about the fact that all of the federal money spent last year on PBS amounts to just six hours of the Pentagon budget, but he claimed the math of the Romney Ryan budget plan showed PBS accounts for 20 percent of the federal deficit. He discussed his proposals in front of a friendly crowd.

“If we stop funding public television, we can pass the savings on to taxpayers like you and me,” Romney told his supporters Friday. The $20,000 a plate dinner gathering roared their approval and offered thunderous applause.

Ann Romney was fiery and forceful in her support of what she described as her “right to be first lady.” According to Mrs. Romney, the White House is currently a place where “the help is in charge” and her husband wants to return the office to the people God created America for.

“No Big Bird is going to keep us from what we are entitled to,” she said before going into a long rant about Manifest Destiny and her favorite recipe for turkey.

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