Rioting Breaks Out At Showings Of ‘Finding Nemo’ 3D, Mob Burns Long John Silvers

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Moviegoers around the world are upset at theaters for releasing the classic “Finding Nemo” in 3D. Fans who saw the movie when they were kids went to see “Finding Nemo” hoping for a sequel, only to discover that they were seeing the same movie but paying a lot more for the privilege. Seems most of them were surprised to be shelling out big bucks for the 3D enhancements.

The realizations didn’t come at first. Reports from riot scenes indicate most patrons realized they were in for the same story but with added effects that blurred some of the bright colors. That’s when things started to get ugly. The Nemo watchers began by ripping up  seats and throwing popcorn and soda on each other. From that, the action spilled outside where cars were set ablaze and windows broken.

The anger was targeted toward anything associated with the movie, no matter how absurd the connection might seem. That broad brush of anger saw one Long John Silvers location burned to the ground. Apparently, being a restaurant which serves pretty decent fish and chips can rile movie goers enough to bring wanton destruction.

When a reporter asked rioters why they were so upset over a movie, one summed it up by saying “Nemo is the foundation of our culture, and to have him insulted in such a manner demands we take action.”

Both presidential candidates were asked to respond to the violence.

“We abhor the acts of destruction a few misguided Nemo worshipers have taken,” said President Obama. “We ask producers in Hollywood to be aware of cultural differences and strive to make movies that honor all beliefs, even those who deify seafood.”

“This is what you get from a bunch of no-job tweeners who grew up to be lazy slackers with no sense of what it takes to run a business,” Mitt Romney chimed in. “Barack Obama has enabled an entire generation of welfare dependent miscreants who have nothing better to do than trash capitalism every chance they get.”

As of this report, violent acts related to the “Finding Nemo 3D” release were tapering off and hopes for a peaceful settlement were rising.

 

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