Details of Next iPhone Leaked, Intelligent Personal Assistant to Feature Voice of Samuel L. Jackson

"iPhone" "5" "5slj" "Free" "Wood" "Post" "siri" "personal" "assistant"

Fresh on the heels of the release of Apple’s iPhone 5, details have already been leaked about that phone’s successor, tentatively labeled the iPhone 5slj.

Telecommunications experts have pored over the specifications for both phones and have found few real upgrades. The size, weight, screen size are all relatively unchanged. Battery life should be comparable. The only noteworthy change would seem to be an upgrade to Siri, the intelligent personal assistant which made its debut in the iPhone 4s.

The Free Wood Post was granted an exclusive interview with a developer who worked on the project and retained a prototype of the iPhone 5slj. To our ears, the iPhone 5slj has seemed to have deprecated Siri’s robotic voice and replaced it with one which seems to be that of Samuel L. Jackson. This may not be a huge surprise considering the actor’s history of work in Apple commercial spots. Without a doubt, in our brief experience with the phone, conversations were unquestionably more animated and lifelike.

A transcript of some of our verbal exchanges included:

FWP: “Do you know where Pappy’s Coffee House is?”

iPhone 5slj: “That is some serious gourmet sh*t!”

FWP: “Wha…?”

iPhone 5slj: “English, motherf*cker, do you speak it?”

FWP: “Can you turn down your ringer volume?”

iPhone 5slj: “Oh, I’m sorry. Did I break your concentration?”

FWP: “What?”

iPhone 5slj: “I don’t remember askin’ you a Goddamn thing! You were saying?”

FWP: “Are you crazy?”

iPhone 5slj: “If my answers frighten you, then you should cease asking scary questions.”

FWP: “Be cool. We don’t want any trouble.”

iPhone 5slj: “Sh*t! That’s all you had to say!”

FWP: “Is there anything I can get for you?”

iPhone 5slj: “I think I need a new case. Preferably one that says “Bad Motherf*cker.”

FWP: “Do you have one of those airplane mode settings?”

iPhone 5slj: “You cannot use this motherf*cking phone on this motherf*cking plane!”

It was a bit of an intimidating user experience, and it remains to be seen whether this will enable sales of the next generation iPhone in the face of users who may be experiencing upgrade fatigue. Look for the release of the iPhone 5slj in Q1 2013.

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