Romney to Boycott Debates After Learning He Won’t Be Debating an Empty Chair

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Presidential contender Gov. Mitt Romney has issued a statement that he is very displeased to hear that the criteria for the Presidential Debates has been abruptly changed to actually include President Obama and not a proxy in the form of an empty chair. The Romney campaign believes they won’t have a enough time to change their debating style in time for the debates. They accuse the Obama-Biden Campaign of using under handed tricks such as compiling  facts, quoting the Governor’s record  and using empirical evidence instead the GOP’s standard use of rhetoric and hyperbole which the GOP considers as a more reliable source of information which they’ve received from what they consider  more reliable sources such as Fox News as well as from leading GOP pundits such as Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter.  Furthermore, they feel switching to a one on one from a one on proxy debate format, so close to the debates gives the Obama-Biden Campaign an unfair advantage.

The Romney Campaign released the following statement, ” In response to the news that President Obama will be actually attending the Presidential debates gives the President an unfair advantage in these debates. We are aware the President likes to state empirical facts which are not easily disproved by the GOP rhetoric and hyperbole as well as employing critical thinking skills such as reason and logical persuasion. These tactics are a slap in the face to millions of people who rely dogma and doctrine to guide their conscience rather than so-called facts  and reason which can be easily dismissed if one were to simply open and read the scriptures. Since our two campaigns cannot agree on the standard of what constitutes a factual argument, we intend to boycott this debate unless Gov. Romney is allowed to argue his views against a proxy in the form of an empty chair. We’d like to point out that the President never complained when he was soundly defeated in his debate at a the Republican National Convention by Clint Eastwood. In fact the President didn’t have much of a rebuttal then and he has since been completely mute on the subject.”

Gov. Romney’s debating coach, Clint Eastwood, declined to comment on the developments till after the debates, if they even take place at all. Whereas, the Obama-Biden campaign has graciously conceded to allow Mr. Eastwood to be present on stage in order to assist  Gov. Romney during the debates and act as an adviser as well as giving Gov. Romney a minute longer to answer his debate questions. We’ve heard from a reliable source within the Romney Campaign that  Gov. Romney plans to use the “Nervous Chuckle” technique in order to diffuse the impact of difficult question as well as utilizing long and pointless anecdotes to bore the audience into thinking he’s actually saying something poignant and meaningful.  With the debates only days away, it will be interesting to see what new developments arise.

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