Texas Bigfoot Sighting Turns Out to Be Shirtless Rick Perry

"Rick" "Perry" "shirtless" "Bigfoot" "Free" "Wood" "Post"

Several frightened hikers in Austin breathed sighs of relief Saturday afternoon at the news that the ape-man they thought they saw on a Bull Creek trail was actually Texas governor Rick Perry. According to one hiker, James Heardy, he and his wife spotted a tall, hairy creature in the bushes to the side of the path.

“We could only see it from the waist up,” said Heardy. “Its back was facing us, and it was walking in thick, tall bushes. The hair on its back was just as thick, and it was making loud grunting noises.”

Heardy and his wife became concerned when they noticed that Perry was accompanied by two women and a man.

“When we saw the people with that – that thing – we were worried,” said Heardy’s wife, Nora. “We got the attention of some other hikers ahead of us, and they came over. By then, the creature and the people had walked farther into the woods, away from the trail. We all agreed to get help, so we called the police.”

The hikers said the police arrived after about twenty minutes, and they searched for another fifteen before finding Perry and the other people, who turned out to be his wife and two children; all were uninjured. The Heardys and the other hikers were all relieved that no one was hurt, but they admitted that they had some trouble believing that the creature was actually their governor.

“We were all a little unsure at first, even the police,” said Heardy, “because the creature was just so hairy, and it kept fumbling over its words. It wasn’t speaking like it was intelligent. So the police asked him to name his family members, just to be sure it was him, that he was human. He said Anita and Griffin, but he couldn’t name the third.”

Despite Perry’s failure to pass the test, he was allowed to leave with his family, who insisted that he was human and had simply removed his shirt because he became warm during the hike. However, some remain skeptical, including Matt Moneymaker, the president and founder of the Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization (BFRO). Moneymaker, who also stars on the show Finding Bigfoot on Animal Planet, stated in a post on the BFRO web site that he plans on visiting the Bull Creek area with his crew for a new episode.

“It sounds like the Squatches are evolving,” the post reads. “They say that one in Bull Creek could talk! And it convinced a bunch of people that it was the governor of Texas! The Squatches are trying to take over – Texas needs our help! We’ll be there ASAP – the fate of the whole country, and possibly humanity itself, depends on us!”

Rick Perry was unavailable for comment in regard to Saturday’s events.

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