Paul Ryan Tells Rally, “Obamacare HERP DERP DERP”

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Vice Presidential nominee Paul Ryan held a rally in South Dakota this week, where he told crowds that President Obama’s biggest problem is that he “HERP instead of DERP DERP.”

“Am I right?” Ryan added, to loud cheers and applause. “Obamacare is the biggest HERP that this country ever DERP.”

Ryan gestured toward the crowd. “America was built on traditional values of rugged individualism and HERP DERP. We don’t need HERP handouts or DERP socialized medicine. Obama’s trying to bring us back to a European-style dependence on DERP government handouts.”

Moving on to a discussion of the growing deficit, which he described as “a roaring wildfire of debt of that’s set to destroy our children’s futures by saddling them with HERPY DERP,” Ryan continued to advocate huge cutbacks in government spending, which he claimed would be offset by DERP.

“ENTITLEMENT PROGRAMS HERP DERP DERP!” he cried, working up to an impassioned finale toward the end of his speech. “LAWS OF GOD AND NATURE DERP!  HERP A WOMAN’S RIGHT TO DERP ! HERP DERP THE FOUNTAINHEAD DERP BALANCED BUDGET DERP DERP MEDICARE VOUCHERS HERP DERP!”

Interviewed after the speech, many in the crowd agreed that Ryan’s speech had been particularly DERPY.

Attendee Mike Arnold told reporters, “I liked when he talked about being independent and pulling ourselves up by our own HERP DERP.”

His wife agreed. “Paul Ryan sure is a HERPY HERP DERP,” she said.

 

 

 

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