This evening a flurry of un-presidential and outright funny updates were splashed across President Obama’s Facebook page while he was at a dinner party. At this time we don’t know if it was hacked by the group Anonymous or if it was possibly a prank by either his kids or rogue staff members taking advantage of his unattended laptop.
The first update at 6:01 p.m. read, “I just dropped a Lincoln Log in the master bathroom, there was no toilet paper dammit. So just to piss off Rush Limbaugh, I wiped my ass with the Constitution. It felt good bitches.”
At 6:13 p.m. there was this update, “I could sure go for some of that gay sex right about now. I think Boehner wants a fudgecicle, I don’t want to make him cry again though. He’s such a sensitive man-child.”
6:23 p.m. “Romney, what a pantywaste. What is wrong with that guy? He couldn’t tell the truth if his life depended on it. I should send a drone after his lame ass.”
6:33 p.m. His feed stated that he “liked” the “Free Wood Post”, “Hooters” and the band “Nashville Pussy”.
6:41 p.m. Another update stated, “Wouldn’t it be funny if I just pushed the button and blew up Iran? Seriously, wiped em off the map… I bet Israel would love me then.”
6:47 p.m. “I should fire Biden. That old coot showed up to another meeting without pants.”
6:55 p.m. “It’s good to be the King.”
And then followed by 7:14 p.m. “Someone is in serious trouble, I know who I am adding to the Kill List next!!!”
We assume this update was actually from President Obama. But whether the message was meant for the group Anonymous, his prankster kids or rogue staff we can’t confirm at this time. By 7:30 p.m. all the updates had been deleted. A press conference has been called for tomorrow afternoon where we hope to have more information.