NEW YORK—Fox News is reporting that an ongoing investigation has revealed evidence that “NASA actively proliferates pagan beliefs in astrology that contradict Christian doctrine at taxpayers’ expense, as demonstrated by the agency’s recent focus on the alleged Transit of Venus.”

While NASA officially stated that Venus’ transit between Earth and the Sun had “absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with astrology,” Fox News’ resident hound dog Megan Kelly got NASA Administrator Major Charlie Bolden Jr., formerly of the US Marines, to admit that a large percentage of NASA’s budget goes directly to “the study of the stars.”

Florida Congressman Allen West (R) told Kelly in a follow-up interview that he “know[s] for a fact that John F. Kennedy was a communist Venus worshipper, and he planted the seeds of communist paganism in the space program way back in the Sixties. He wanted to go to the moon ’cause he thought it was a goddess who would grant him super Marxist powers.”

Sarah Palin weighed in shortly after Kelly’s bombshell interview, tweeting, “NASA spends church money ‘studying the stars.’ Sounds like astrology to me. #obviously.” And the League of Catholic Bishops said it will “investigate NASA’s pagan mission and how it affects religious freedom of taxpayers whose are opposed to the practices of paganism and astrology.”

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