Bloomberg Won’t Stop at Soda — Gum Ban Being Proposed


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Hold on to your gum. After unleashing a large soda ban in New York City, Mayor Michael Bloomberg is seeking to ban packs of gum that exceed seven pieces. While discussing the recent NY soda ban at a small press conference in Manhattan this morning, Bloomberg stated:

“We are not banning soda in NYC. We are banning the sale of over-sized portions. Our country faces a devastating obesity crisis and as a result, increasing health costs. There is no need to sale over-sized sodas to the American people.  Furthermore, we have a duty to keep our city clean. Lately we’ve had a recurring problem of gum littering our sidewalks, subways and buildings. In order to minimize the amount of gum that is consumed in New York, I will be working with legislators on passing a bill which bans packs of gum that exceed seven pieces from being sold on our streets and in our stores. If that doesn’t work, then we may have to take more drastic measures. “

When pressed further on what “drastic measures” meant, Bloomberg refused to comment.  The potential upcoming gum ban is strikingly similar of the gum ban in Singapore, which was created to keep the city clean.  In 1992, the chewing and selling of gum was banned in Singapore. However, recent measures have allowed for gum to be sold for therapeutic purposes after Republican representatives from Illinois (home of Wrigley gum) lobbied Singapore for trade negotiations.

How do New Yorkers feel about limiting gum sales? Well, we took the streets to ask. New York cab driver Tony Ponzoni replied in typical no-nonsense NY fashion:

“It’s bull-sh-t! I’m not freaking out though. If I want twenty pieces of gum, then I’ll buy three of them seven piece packs. Hell with it—I’ll still get my gum. I’ve got bigger problems to worry about. Bloomberg will get his come election time. We’ll vote his –ss out. ”

Perhaps it’s not the end of the world after all.  We at Free Wood Post, however, recommend that you cling to your gum and religion.  Grab that Costco card and stock up. You never know what’s next.  Limiting the size of your soda can lead to banning all soda. Limiting the size of your packs of gum can lead to banning all gum.  Before you know it, you might be stuck without a Big Gulp and Big League Chew–and THAT is un-American.


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