Romney to Sell ‘Sexy’ Photos of Wife to Raise Campaign Money

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Shortly after making a statement about increasing fundraising efforts, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney announced this morning that he has decided to sell pictures of his wife, Ann, to help raise money for his campaign.

“Ann has, from the beginning, taken an interest in helping me defeat Obama,” said Romney. “But, of course, she is a woman, so there isn’t much that she’s capable of doing. I was trying to think of a task for her to try that wouldn’t result in utter disaster when she inevitably fails, when I realized that all she’s really good for in this campaign is standing by and looking pretty. And that’s when it hit me.”

Romney has not set a price for the photos yet, but he has elaborated on his idea, stating that he plans on directing a photo shoot for Ann that won’t include any nudity.

“I’m going to direct this shoot myself, to make sure these photos are ‘sexy,’ not ‘slutty,'” Romney said. “It will be wholesome, and there won’t be any nudity. We’re not catering to the needs of Liberals. I want Ann to be a representation of the kind of woman Conservative men are attracted to, the kind of woman all women should strive to be. So, for one photo, I’m going to have Ann pose barefoot in a kitchen wearing a traditional wool dress from the Middle Ages that covers her from neck to ankle.”

Despite Romney’s confidence that the photo shoot will be respectable, women’s rights advocates disagree. They have turned to Twitter and Facebook to send messages to him requesting that he think of another method of fundraising. Some people suggested selling information pamphlets about Mormonism to help raise awareness and acceptance of the religion. Romney, however, did not approve of that idea, and responded with the following message:

“My religion is extremely important and special to me, and people suggest using it for monetary gain? That’s just plain wrong.”

Ann’s photo shoot is scheduled to go ahead as planned.

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