CIA Disables Al-Qaeda Website

LANGLEY, VA   (FWP)   May 1, 2012  —  On the anniversary of the assassination of Osama Bin Laden the CIA announced its most recent victory in the war on terror.  In a press conference on Monday CIA spokeswoman Judith Pulcinella revealed that agents of the Cyber Terrorism Taskforce had recently been successful at shutting down an important Al-Qaeda website.  The site, which the agents had given the name Kindling Gratis, was supposedly used by the terrorist organization as a major recruiting tool for a new generation of terrorists.

“What was unusual about this particular site was how it used humor and satire to convey messages of a very serious nature.  We believe that Al-Qaeda’s traditional methods of recruiting potential suicide bombers were becoming less successful.  With the US withdrawal from Iraq and our impending scaling down of our operations in Afghanistan it has become more difficult for them to convince young people to join their fight.”

Ms. Pulcinella explained that the articles were targeted at young people in Afghanistan and Pakistan and as a result the humor on the website was not obvious to most Americans.

“We realized they were trying to be funny but we had a difficulty understanding how anyone, even potential terrorists, might find these articles remotely funny.  It may be that we just have a very different concept of humor or the articles may just be very poorly written.”

A very different story about the CIA’s history with the website was told by an anonymous source inside the Pentagon.   The source claims that the CIA had been aware of this site for over four years but had not shut it down because they believed it to be an important source of information about the terrorist organization’s future plans.

“They saw it as a mother lode of intel and poured over every detail believing that these articles would help them cripple Al-Qaeda.   They were totally oblivious to the fact that it was all complete bullshit.  There were articles that detailed Bin Laden’s sexual exploits and others that mocked his potential successors.  It should have been obvious that these were all satirical, but all of their analysts believed what they were reading.  They are a bunch of naive idiots who will believe anything they find on-line.  It was only after the website published an article that detailed how scared Al-Qaeda was about Mitt Romney that they became suspicious.  The idea that Al-Qaeda would be nervous about the potential of a Romney Administration was such an obvious joke that even the CIA saw the humor.

 

Read more from Brent Youngren:

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Brent Youngren has written for Free Wood Post since soon after it began.  He continues to be amazed at the general gullibility of many Americans.  He has made it his mission to help create a more cynical nation.  A complete list of his articles (along with a few photos of his kids) can be seen at Blog of Brent.


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