The GOP Urges Citizens Not To Wear Sunscreen After Michelle Obama Gives Warnings of Too Much Sun Exposure

With summer fast approaching, First Lady Michelle Obama spoke at a Skin Cancer Foundation benefit and urged everyone to be wary of too much sun exposure. She also asked that everyone remember to protect their skin with proper covering and sunscreen to help prevent the onset of sun-induced melanomas.

The First Lady went on to say that “this should be something we all can agree on for the well-being of ourselves, our family members, our friends, and our colleagues.” She said that “it’s important to be outside and stay active for our health, but it is also vital to be sun safe while outdoors enjoying summer activities.”

In retort to the First Lady’s remarks to stay “sun safe,” the GOP has come out against any and all “big government” involvement in anyone’s summer activities. Speaker John Boehner released this statement shortly after the First Lady finished her speech.

“It is not the job of the government to dictate what we wear when we go outside during the summer months. Americans should have the freedom to do as they choose, and if citizens want to go outside without protecting their skin that is their freedom to do so. We conservatives here in Washington are urging citizens to stand up in protest of the First Lady’s strict socialist policy of skin protection and go outside this summer for extended periods of time with no sunscreen whatsoever. We believe that will send a clear message not only to the White House, but also to the rest of the world that we here in America desire freedom. That is what our founders fought for, and that is what we plan to keep at all costs.” 

When it was explained to Speaker Boehner that the First Lady was merely offering a suggestion because it has been proven that sun protection helps prevent certain types of melanomas, the Speaker responded, “Americans should also have the freedom to attain melanomas. We don’t need a socialist telling us that sunscreen may save our lives.. that choice is up to us.” 

After Speaker Boehner’s response, the press simply shrugged and walked away. One young reporter was overheard whispering to another, “I guess it’s survival of the fittest after all… and they say conservatives don’t like Darwin. I beg to differ.”


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