North Korea: “Our missile did not break apart, our missile shared glorious components with sea and sky!”

Yesterday, communist nation North Korea launched a rocket in an effort to intimidate its enemies and to announce its authority as a military force. After less than two minutes of flight, the rocket broke apart and scattered pieces fell into the Yellow Sea; an event that North Korea leaders quickly labeled a success.

“Today is a tremendous day in the history of North Korea,” said Kim Jong-Un, newly appointed leader of the nation. “Today, we have developed a system where we can share the glorious message of communism with both the birds in the sky and the fish in the sea. Those in the West will say we have failed. They are incorrect. We have succeeded in reaching an untapped population eager to participate in our wealth and culture.”

Kim Jong-Un, who replaced his recently deceased father, Kim Jong-Il, went on to say, “The glorious explosion of our rocket is symbolic of how the glorious message of Marx, Lenin, and Mao has exploded around the globe and has helped create the workers’ paradise we enjoy today. And now, we can count on our feathered and scaled friends to spread the word to millions of oppressed individuals longing for the freedom found only in North Korea.”

Jong-Un backed up his claim by stating, “When you consider how diligently and lovingly the mice, birds, and other creatures worked in assembling Cinderella’s ball gown, you can only imagine how passionately they will embrace our superior system.”

Military leaders also announced the rocket launch will be officially identified as the “We Meant To Do That” event.

 

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