Santorum: Jesus Was Too Liberal, I Can Be Your Real Savior

"Santorum" "Jesus" "Easter"

In a turn of events, Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum had some interesting words for his supporters on Easter Sunday at a local brunch held after church services. It seems that after sitting through the Easter sermon at his local Parish, he came to a realization that he had never quite seen before. Santorum came to the conclusion that Jesus gave his life to save everyone, as well as also believing everyone deserved to live, have health care, access to food and clothes, and to be kind to everyone despite personal beliefs. According to Santorum’s statement, Jesus is far too liberal for his liking.

“Can you believe that sermon today? I guess I never quite realized how liberal Jesus really was. He was all about giving hand-outs to people who didn’t deserve it. He should’ve realized that if he gave those people a little tough love, they could’ve gotten through those hardships on their own. I’m feeling torn between my faith and my beliefs. I can either stand by and support this apparent socialism taught from the Bible, or I can show the nation that I can be their real savior… I really have some soul-searching to do.” 

This statement is shocking to say the least, and all other Republican candidates are backing away from any sort of agreement. When asked what he thought of Santorum’s choice words President Obama said, “I can only hope the American people are smart enough not to vote for him. He most definitely seems to have delusions of grandeur.” 

The Santorum campaign is quickly trying to come up with a way to twist their candidate’s words into something that doesn’t seem quite so falsely grandiose. The Santorum supporter that reported the quote from the Easter brunch has now pledged their support for President Obama saying, “If Jesus was a liberal, than so am I.. I hope others will realize this soon before it’s too late.” 

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