Santorum Scores ‘6’ on NFL’s Wonderlic Test

Presidential hopeful Rick Santorum made an egregious error yesterday when he accidentally released a completed copy of his Wonderlic Test to the media. The Wonderlic Test is normally used by the National Football League to help determine an athlete’s intelligence level. The top possible score on the test is 50, though the former Senator was only able to manage a six.

According to sources, Santorum was curious about the test after hearing that LSU cornerback Morris Claiborne recently received the surprisingly low score of four. While player information is supposed to remain confidential, this is not the first time a score had been released to the media. In 2006, quarterback Vince Young received a six on the test. Santorum matched Young when he took the timed test on Thursday. He then mistakenly included the test with a series of press releases sent to the Philadelphia Inquirer.

The results of this test have led many to question whether Santorum has the requisite level of intelligence to be President. Among his myriad of mistakes, included the answers that August was the tenth month of the year, 24 x 4 = 64 and that a rectangle has 3 sides.  Many conservatives have rushed to defend Santorum. On the Today Show, former Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin stated that, “Rick is a smart man. As President you don’t need to be understanding no football players’ tests. Gee whiz, we shouldn’t even be talking about this. This is just more propaganda from the elitist liberal media trying to paint true Americans like myself and Rick Santorum as dumb. What we should be talking about is Obama and his socialist regime in Washington.”

The Santorum campaign did not respond to interview requests regarding the incident, but did issue the following statement: “Rick Santorum is in the driver’s seat now. It is half time and in the next period he will shoot a touchdown and score the nomination for President.” What that statement actually refers to could not be determined. For Wonderlic Test sample questions, click ESPN.

Article vocabulary helper for our Republican friends:

Egregious- Extraordinarily bad.

Requisite- Required or necessary for a particular purpose.

Myriad- A large number.

Socialism “1. Any of various economic and political theories advocating collective or governmental ownership and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods. 2a: A system of society or group living in which there is no private property. 2b: A system or condition of society in which the means of production are owned and controlled by the state.” So basically it’s not even close to what you think it means.

 

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Orbson Rice is a deeply disturbed professional Writer and Editor. He is also the “Creator” of the blog “The Orbson Oracle”  which is thoroughly offensive, often thoughtful and occasionally funny. Stroke your mouse and visit the Oracle to read more from the God of Words himself or find him on Facebook at  www.facebook.com/orbsonrice.

 

Unedited Photo by: Gage Skidmore

 

 

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