Santorum on Romney: “I Want to Punch That Jerkface”

Presidential hopeful Rick Santorum was unusually candid regarding his feelings on rival Republicans during a recent rally in Mississippi.

“Don’t you just want to mess up Romney’s stupid hair?” Santorum asked the crowd, grinning and gesturing with his microphone.  “I mean seriously.  He’s a total robot.  And he sounds like such a moron when he talks!”  At this, Santorum made a face in imitation of Governor Romney.  ” ‘Wah wah, I like grits, y’all.’  What a freakshow, am I right?”

Meanwhile, at a fundraiser in upstate New York that same day, Romney too was pulling no punches in his discussion of his Republican competition.

“Is it just me, or is Santorum totally gayballs?” he asked attendees, a mostly affluent assortment of executives from local businesses.  “He acts like he’s not, but we all know the truth.  He should just come clean about it already.  What a weenie.  I feel bad for that guy’s wife.”

Added Romney, “I heard his butt smells, too.  Seriously– he has a weird odor problem.  His friend told me.”

Newt Gingrich jumped into the fray with his own outspoken comments late yesterday evening during an interview with CNN’s Wolf Blitzer.

“The time for civility has passed,” Gingrich said.  “Sure, the three of us have been respectful up to this point in the race. We have refrained from attacking one another and have behaved with decorum and honor during a heated political season.  But I can no longer hold back my honest criticisms of my fellow Republican nominees.  Today I must affirm my belief that Rick Santorum is a sanctimonious liar with a tiny penis and a the common sense of a lawn gnome.”

“It’s funny that my opponent Newt Gingrich should compare me to a lawn gnome,” Santorum fired back during an interview with the New York Times.  “Because that’s exactly what he reminds me of– a pretentious, pontificating, goofy-looking troll.  Also, he sleeps around and word on the street is, he pretty much sucks in bed.  I’m just saying.  That man cannot keep a woman happy.  Just ask one of his many ex-wives.”

“And don’t get me started on Romney again,” Santorum added.  “That godless heathen needs to pull his magic underwear out of his ass crack and get real.  What a schmuck.  Forget having multiple wives– I’m surprised one woman wanted anything to do with that walking gonad.”

He added, “Also I’m pretty sure all his kids are retards.  Have you SEEN pictures of that family?  Ew.”

Print Friendly

Related posts:

This article was written by on at . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site. Tags:

facebook comments:


Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.