Ann Coulter Launches ‘Abstinence is the New Sexy’ Campaign for the GOP

Outspoken author and GOP political pundit Ann Coulter has agreed to become the spokesperson for the GOP’s latest campaign aimed at the youth of America to counter what they claim is a sex crazed society. She will tour the country speaking to middle school and high school aged youths about the evils and danger of sex including the dangers of Crotch Rot which the GOP claims is transferred via hand to genital contact and is extremely contagious unless your married and protestant.

Ms. Coulter has several GOP paid scientists on tour with her including Dr. John Dinkel and Dr. Bobby Lee Davis of the Biblical Institute of Science at Oral Roberts University. They’ve shown graphic pictures of blistered hands which some medical doctors claim looks like dermatitis caused by poison ivy or poison oak.  Rather than sticking just to the facts about human sexuality, they descend to myth and false information to try to scare kids out of sex. They’ve also discussed the extremely rare genetic disease testicular elephantiasis as being a communicable disease with the intent of scaring the hell out of any impressionable teenage boy.

Dr. Bobby Lee Davis claims masturbation is the mass genocide of the pre-born and that every teenage boy’s scrotum is a potential concentration camp between their legs, he claims to be doing clinical research and a hands on study to tackle this growing menace.

DNC Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz was glad to hear that Ann Coulter was promoting abstinence and was hopeful that she would practice what she was preaching. Rep. Wasserman Schultz was quoted as saying, “the only thing that scares me more than President Obama losing to Rick Santorum is the thought of Ann Coulter adding to the gene pool.”

We asked Dana Loesch, conservative pundit and CNN contributor why she didn’t take the reigns of the GOP project. Her reply was, “don’t be silly, abstinence is for  poor people and minorities, not for people like me.”

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