Santorum Reaches Out to Women with “Know Your Place” Campaign

MOBILE, AL – Former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum is taking note of women’s growing displeasure with the GOP and has launched a somewhat controversial campaign in an attempt to turn the trend to his advantage. Santorum says his new, “Women, Know Your Place,” slogan is meant to appeal directly to female voters “with a message that will help them make sense of the world.”

After a campaign stop at a nondenominational mega church in Mobile, Santorum explained, “It really grabs women’s attention when you tell them to ‘know your place,’ and just like little children, women truly like being told what to do, even if they don’t act like it sometimes. By nature they need a man’s guidance in this world; that’s just commonsense.”

Recent polls show the Santorum campaign hemorrhaging support among women faster than ever; however, Santorum claims that the drop is just a temporary hiccup while the new campaign strategy kicks into gear.

Later in the day, Santorum met with the Mobile branch of the Junior League, a women’s philanthropic organization. “Never fear, little ladies,” he told the gathering of roughly 100 female professionals and business leaders. “I’m here to let y’all know what’s right and wrong for you and your families, and there’s more good news: I know what’s best for your lady parts and tubes and moon-cycles and stuff too.”

When confronted by a woman displeased with his pro-war rhetoric, Santorum quickly took control of the conversation. “Now, look here, Miss Worry-Wart,” he scolded, “war is men’s business, and you need not trouble your pretty little brain with it. Just vote for me, raise the kids, and only speak when you’re spoken to: Know your place!”

Santorum was all smiles after the event. “I really think I got through to them,” he said.

 

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