Caving To Pressure From Bigots, Romney Will Convert To Christianity

Throughout the entire Republican primary process there has been one aspect of former Governor Mitt Romney’s life that has kept a majority of conservative voters away from choosing him on election day. That one aspect is the fact that Mitt Romney is a devout Mormon.

Seeing that this part of his life has become a major blow to his campaign, and knowing his flip-flopping history as a candidate, his decision to convert to Christianity to boost his poll numbers should really come as no surprise to anyone.

I see the way all the Christian conservative voters look at me. It’s as though I have horns on the top of my head. I can’t let my faith become a deterrent at the polls any longer. I have spoken with my wife, and we have decided that the decision to become Christian is one of crucial importance to our lives and to our campaign. Furthermore, I will become a Southern Baptist Evangelical to make certain I lock up all the votes I need to capture the remaining delegates needed to become the Republican nominee for President of the United States. I feel the American people will embrace my decision, and it will be a breath of fresh air to this campaign. I look forward to meeting all my fellow Christians on the campaign trail in the coming months. 

Romney’s poll numbers in the South have already started to rise in the wake of this announcement. Only time will tell in the upcoming primaries if his decision to covert to Christianity will have been worth it. Rick Santorum applauds Romney’s decision stating, “He won’t regret this decision. It may hurt my chances, but at least one more soul has been saved.”

Political pundits nationwide are bewildered, yet not at all surprised. The Romney campaign so far has been a roller coaster of information including statements, corrections to statements, and denials of statements. Let’s see if this conversion sticks.

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