Daylight Comet Seen in KC Sky as Rush’s Career Dies

Kansas City, KS – NASA has verified video of a previously unidentified comet barely visible in the daylight sky over metropolitan Kansas City.

Minutes before the video was shot, Johnson County (KS) Community College student Brent Bellum left English class and hopped into his GMC pickup to drive to his job at a liquor store in suburban Lee’s Summit, MO.  As he pulled out of the school’s parking lot, he turned on the radio to listen to his favorite political guru, Rush Limbaugh.

What happened next sent Bellum on an emotional rollercoaster ride.

“I took Intro to Psychology last semester, and I’m pretty sure I went through every stage of grief when I realized what had happened,” Bellum said. “The Rush Limbaugh Show was missing from the airwaves, and I suddenly had nothing to ditto while I drove.”

Limbaugh, who hails from Missouri and began his career in Kansas City, came under public fire for his misogynistic attacks on Georgetown law student Sandra Fluke. The fallout has included a mass exodus of advertisers sponsoring Limbaugh’s show; predictably, more and more radio stations are pulling the plug on the nationally-syndicated show.

When KDUM of greater Kansas City pulled the controversial show from its daily lineup, Bellum struggled to face the long drive to work without Limbaugh’s guidance. “It was like a part of my life was suddenly missing,” he said. “I tried cussing at all the liberal-homosexual-freeloaders on the highway, but they just smiled and drove on by in the feminazi carpool lane with their pinko fuel-efficient cars.”

Overcome with emotion, Bellum pulled off the highway and parked at a convenience store to collect himself. “I got out of my truck at the QT [Quick Trip] just as a dark cloud passed in front of the sun, and that’s when I saw it—a comet shooting by, honoring the death of Rush’s career.”

Bellum shot video of the comet with his smart phone then downloaded it to YouTube where it quickly gained NASA’s attention. NASA was able to determine that the video is indeed of a previously unknown comet following a strange, eccentric orbit; the NASA report notes that in 2007 Comet McNaught was also bright enough to be seen during daylight hours.

News of the comet spread quickly through the right-wing blogosphere, and fans of Rush’s show across the nation are comparing the incident to other comets of historical significance. Conservative Twitter-star GOPManiac recently tweeted, “It’s like the comet people saw after the great American founding father, Julius Caesar, was murdered by the Islamofacist Democratic Senate.”

Bellum agrees. “Rush’s career is deader than a corn-fed pig,” he said, “but its death only makes him stronger because he’s a broadcast god now, and that comet proves it.”

Since NASA’s verification of the comet, astronomers have proposed naming it after Bellum, but he and other Limbaugh fans have started a petition to have it named “Limbaugh’s Comments.”

 

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