Santorum’s Plan to End College Indoctrination

Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum has been criticized recently because of his comment that President Obama “wants everybody out there to go to college; what a snob!”  The former senator was also critical of higher education, saying “the indoctrination going on at the university level is a harm to our country.”  On Tuesday the former senator responded to the criticism by releasing details of his plan for reforming higher education in the United States.  In his address to a roomful of angry white people the senator claimed that “30% of students who enroll in college will leave school before earning a degree, however 100% of people who do not attend any college will ever drop-out.”  Senator Santorum went on to refer to colleges as ‘atheists mills’, ‘pre-schools for anarchists’ and ‘Soviet-style gulags’.  He then gave the details of his plan to improve higher education by encouraging parents to forgo traditional colleges and to instead home school their 19 year-old children.  “Parents intrinsically know what is best for their children.  They are the ones who are best equipped to pass on important lessons in subjects such as quantum physics, abnormal psychology and 19th century French poetry.”

When asked about the important social skills that students learn in college Senator Santorum responded, “It is true that homeschooled students may have more difficulty learning some of social skills that college traditionally provides.  That is why my plan would set up fraternity and sorority centers across the nation that are especially designed to provide homeschooled students with the full college experience.  Parents will be able to drop off their children for play-dates at these centers.   The children will be able to socialize with their peers and learn important life skills, such as the many benefits of anorexia or how large amounts of beer can improve your sex life.”

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