Newt Gingrich Offers to Convert to Judaism After 2012 Election

 

Newt Gingrich has secretly met with the Grand Rabbi of Washington D.C. and offered to convert to Judaism if he’s allowed to divorce and marry a fourth wife. According to Jewish canon law, Speaker Gingrich’s current marriage could be dissolved if he converted to Judaism, appealed to a Beth Din ( a Rabbinical Court ) and was issued a get. A get according to Beth-din.org, “is strictly a religious legal document which breaks the existing bond created through marriage, and acknowledging that the couple divorcing are now free to remarry according to Jewish law.”

Newt Gingrich’s spokesman said,” if the speaker knew how easy it was getting remarried in the Jewish faith he would have converted during the Clinton administration.” Newt has been quoted as saying, “When I converted to Catholicism I didn’t realize that I would have to confess all my sins weekly and not just the ones I didn’t like but also the sins that I really like such as lying and infidelity. I’m just not made for all the guilt and praying, can’t I just write a check or perhaps acquire a revolving penance account with the Vatican?”


Of course we don’t know how this will affect his presidential campaign with conservative and evangelical voters. Newt is apparently banking on the misogynist vote  in the South and Midwest. Apparently Gingrich’s base is the anti-minority, anti-women, anti-working class, pro-corporate personhood crowd which ironically support his views on Israel and Iran. Gingrich has also stated he’d either  invade Iran or save the tax payers money and just nuke it off the face of the Earth. Either way, nothing brings a bunch of right wingers together than a good old-fashioned Gulf region war.

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