Mitt Romney: My Best Friend is a Corporation


A while back Mitt Romney was quoted to say, “Corporations are people, my friend.” What the rest of that video clip fails to show is the context of that statement. He was talking about one of his best friends, Bain Capital. I guess it would have been better if he had said, “My friend is a corporate person” or “Corporations are people, like my friend Bain.” However he didn’t, and now there has been an obscene amount of confusion.

I don’t think the issue with Mitt Romney should be if he thinks corporations are people. If he wants to believe that, let him. Kind of like how a child believes in an imaginary friend. He is quite apparently very attached to his corporations and wants to go on vacation with one later this year. He was even candidly overheard stating that if he wasn’t already married he would have married a corporation years ago. Rumor has it he was secretly seeing a male corporation on the side in an intimate affair, but that rumor has not been substantiated.


Needless to say, let’s give the guy a break. He quite apparently lacks the capacity to make human friendships, and why try to dismantle the only friendships he has.

We all know that corporations aren’t really people… but Willard gets upset whenever you remind him. Those are his “friends.”

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