Tea Party Demands “Thanksgiving” Be Renamed “Thankskeeping”

It is widely known that the Tea Party believes we should live in a nation defined as “every man, woman, and child for themselves.” However, now they are bringing that message to the holiday season. They believe if we continue to call the fourth Thursday in November “Thanksgiving” it will spread the message of “Socialism” all over the nation.

They don’t think they should be “giving” to anyone but themselves. If a person can’t earn what they have, then they don’t deserve having it. Even if their job has been outsourced, and no one will hire them. Even if this means stepping around the homeless during the holiday season, instead of offering them some food or an extra scarf.

This is why the Tea Party is demanding the United States of America rename “Thanksgiving” to better represent their ideals, and now want the holiday to be called “Thankskeeping.” They believe everyone should keep what they earn, even if it means the country quite literally falls apart around them. They believe the only thing they have to be thankful for is themselves. All that matters to them is that they’ve got theirs… that is the American way after all.

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