Recent Fox News Poll Shows Christ Is Trailing Cain

A new Fox News poll shows that 62 percent of Republican voters favor a Herman Cain nomination over Jesus Christ. The poll was conducted over the weekend on the Fox News website. Only 28 percent favored a Jesus Christ nomination, while 10 percent would rather see a generic Republican nomination.

Fox News then asked the question in the comment section of the article, “Why Do You Feel So Strongly About Your Pick?” Harry Palmer 46 of Kermit,Texas said, “Where’s his [Jesus Christ] birth certificate? Last time I checked, Nazareth isn’t in America!” Which then received a reply from “TurbanPuncher” of Bardwell,Kentucky. “Jesus was, is, and will always be a liberal, Arab supporting, hippie socialist.”

Michelle TakeMyCntryBck Harris garnished the most support for her comment by saying, “Who would really vote for an anti-troop, anti-war scum bag like Christ? Love thy enemies? They attacked us! I will love them with my guns!”


Phone calls to the Herman Cain campaign were not answered, but a campaign representative replied to an email for question by saying, “We are happy about the results of this poll. It shows the real frustration the Republican base is having with the current pool of candidates. Mr Cain is the only man for the job, and the man that has the best record to lead this country back to the top. Jesus Christ has shown us many times that he’s a socialist, and does not believe in the American dream.”

Fox News pundit Sean Hannity stated on his show last night that there’s “convincing evidence” that Jesus Christ was a “known alcoholic” and his legacy was only remembered for “water into wine.” Hannity then went on to say, “we do not need another anti-Semite in the oval office, we already have one.”

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