Herman Cain Learning Foreign Strategy By Playing The Board Game ‘RISK’

GOP presidential nominee Herman Cain is known for being a business man. He now wants to bring his business know-how to Capitol Hill, but first he needs to learn that there are other nations in the world. Cain doesn’t have the foreign policy background and knowledge that other GOP candidates have, and to combat this issue head-on he has decided to play endless games of ‘RISK’ back to back to gain a firm understanding of foreign strategy planning.

Cain began playing ‘RISK’ about nine months ago with young elementary school children because they seemed to have a good handle on the game and it was a seemingly appropriate way to ease into foreign policy. Slowly, he began playing older and older children, learning their different world domination strategies, until eventually he was able to play at an adult level of comprehension early last week. He’s feeling strong in his skills now and will undoubtedly bring them to the table at upcoming GOP presidential debates.

Cain has been warned against playing ‘Axis & Allies’ because he doesn’t want to appear to be on the side of The Blitz that occurred in WWII. His campaign feels that there is no need for unnecessary comparisons to wars fought long ago where people were also shouting, “nein, nein, nein.” However, he has taken to the game’Battleship‘ because you can set the ships up in a 9X9X9 formation.


Herman Cain has already denied rumors that his economic ‘9-9-9’ strategy has anything to do with the computer game ‘SimCity‘. However, seeing now that he seems to like to gain further knowledge through gameplay we may never know the honest answer.

Cain wants his favorite game, ‘Monopoly‘ to be given to all school aged children so that they too, at a young age can learn that single entity corporate domination of the market is the only way to make our Capitalistic system stay the course it is currently on.

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