Department of Homeland Security Okays Thought Crime Prison In Alaska

The Department of Homeland Security has approved the building of a new mega-prison in Central Alaska to house thought criminals and political prisoners. Trials will be held at the facilities where they’ll be found guilty and be imprisoned indefinitely.  The brain child of this project is former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, who inaugurated the plan while still Alaska Governor.  She envisioned the project would help clean up America, and find a place a place where all the Lefties, gays and book readers can have a place for themselves. There are no roads in or out of the 10 sq mile facilities, only an airstrip which brings materials, prisoners and staff into the facility.  Governor Palin explains, “The facility will be built with prisoner labor and even people like the sissy men can cut hair and do laundry, they’re good at that you know. The pseudo-intellectuals who don’t understand the biblical science of creationism will be re-educated with Bible study and will be given political education as well. They will get to read the great works of Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh and Newt Gingrich. We’ll also have video conferences with Dr. Bachmann so he can help the homos pray away the gay and help them get right with Jesus. Their 5ft by 8ft concrete cells are really very cozy and the concrete bunks are very durable and comfortable.”

I asked the Governor, isn’t it un-American to lock up people for things that are protected by the 1st Amendment? The Governor replied, “Oh, don’t be silly…when Abraham Lincoln and George Washington wrote the Bill of Rights at Bunker Hill, they fully intended it to be only for God-fearing Protestants and maybe Episcopals too, those godless heathens will receive the finest treatment even if we have to beat the devil out of them. The protesters that they’re arresting around the country will find a cozy home here in chilly Alaska….and ‘ya betcha we’ll keep ’em busy so they won’t get pesky and start trouble…they just don’t understand that the lord created these corporations  to help America prosper and keep the social order. We can’t have ordinary people think they can actually be in control, that’s uppity and we can’t have that…if we did that it wouldn’t be democracy, that would be socialism. This taking the right to vote away from lefties, coloreds and old people is just saving them from making the mistake of not voting for the people they should be voting for, Conservatives. We have to keep the two-party system intact, that’s why we support the GOP and the Tea Party……and we all know that democrat is just another word for godless commie.


We’re coming to a point when the protests are going to produce prisoners that they can’t house and they won’t want to infect political dissatisfaction amongst ordinary prisoners. The question arises, what will happen to political prisoners or if the GOP regains power?

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