Fired Match.com Employees Launch DrunkenHookup.com

In a tough economy where people are struggling to turn lemons into lemonade five fired employees from Match.com see an opportunity in a depressed economy, starting a non-dating service for people who are just looking for a drunken hookup and gratuitous sex. President of DrunkenHookup.com and web master Raj Sharma tells us, “many of my friends were going to bars and striking out, spending a lot of money on a futile attempt. So, I looked on-line but couldn’t find a site that catered to people just looking booze and a one night stand, so I decided this was an opportunity to launch a site for every major city in the US and the UK. Our clients aren’t looking for Mr. or Miss. Right, they’re looking for Mr. or Miss. Right now. Hey, dating sucks and we all know it’s 99% wasted effort and a lesson in futility. Our site just gets down to business and business has been good lately. People are just want to hookup, have a little fun and go home without the entanglement of a dead-end relationship they don’t want. We also have downloadable passes and coupons from local bars and clubs in every major city. They can also post pictures and stories of their misadventures on our site. We even have a best drunken hookup photo contest where you can win free VIP passes to area clubs.”

I met Jan Michaels and Dan Peterson who met and hooked up using the on-line service at one of the featured clubs. Jan told us, “yeah, I was just looking for a little fun while my boyfriend was at sea with the Navy but I didn’t want to get involved romantically with anyone so I went to drunkenhookup.com and met Dan. He seemed like a nice guy and he wasn’t interested in a long-term thing so we just hooked up for a night of drunken crazy fun and sex…..it was cool because my boyfriend won’t be home for a few months and I don’t have any reason to keep my side action going when he’s home…..Woooo Hooooo more tequila bitches.”  Dan had different reasons for using the service, “ yeah, man I just got out of jail and it’s hard for a sexual predator to find a date, but with this service I can find a lot of stupid drunk bitches who buy into my story that I just came back from the army after 20 yrs of being over seas…hell, Dan isn’t even really my real name..(laughing)…crap they didn’t have people this stupid before I went into the joint 20 years ago…God, I love the Internet …Bartender, two more shots for her…..” 

I concluded that maybe this type of business may have some inherent flaws in it so I decided to investigate further into the matter.


I talked to club owner Chad Mitchell and asked him how he’s benefited from the service and if he sees it as a good idea. Chad replied,”We give out a few coupons and passes but the people who think they have a better chance of hooking up will spend a hell of a lot more money at the bar than the people who feel less confident of hooking up. It helps us by directing people who already have decided to get stupid, drunk, and spend money in our club. Hey, its free enterprise, the American way, it’s not like they weren’t hooking up before, it’s just adjusting the odds for the customers and directing them to us….hell…you can even pre-pay for a taxi so you don’t have to drive home drunk. Hey, I have to peel a drunk off the restroom floor so, I’ll catch ‘ya later.”

Is it free enterprise or just taking advantage of really stupid people? I’ll let you decide for yourself.

 

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
This article was written by on at . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

facebook comments:


Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.