Poll: Majority of Extremely Drunk Americans Like What they See in Rick Perry

The vast majority of extremely drunk Americans believe Texas Governor Rick Perry looks and acts “presidential,” according to a Google poll taken immediately after the recent Fox News/Google Republican Presidential debate in Orlando.

The same Google poll also indicated that a majority of those watching the debate prefer the popular cartoon character Foghorn Leghorn over the current slate of nine candidates.

“Ricky’s my best pal, I love him, man,” commented one extremely drunk respondent about Perry’s debate performance. Other extremely drunk respondents made similar comments about Perry’s presidential stature, with a surprising number of respondents believing Perry was also extremely drunk during the debate.


Among sober American viewers, however, Foghorn Leghorn was mentioned as a more viable candidate by more than 60% of those polled.

“I think Foghorn could really give these guys a run,” commented one respondent. “He’s more articulate, really, and knows the issues. And I’d love to hear him say ‘Aaaaaahhhhh, shaddap!’ just once to those dudes, Bachmann included.”

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