Boehner, GOP Leaders Roll Out Plan to Oppose Math

September 19, 2011
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House Speaker John Boehner and other Republican congressional leaders rallied Monday around the party’s growing opposition to math, saying President Obama’s use of the term in relation to the budget was “deeply troubling and, frankly, not what this nation needs.”

The announcement comes within a day of President Obama announcing a tax plan that would increase the tax rate on the nation’s billionaires. Responding to GOP criticism of the plan, Obama said the tax rate increase “isn’t class warfare, it’s math.”

But Obama’s comment simply infuriated Republican leaders further, who immediately began efforts to eliminate all federal funding involving math or math by-products, such as arithmetic or speed limits.

“Simply put, math is a four-letter word,” Boehner said. “For obvious reasons, we don’t want American workers learning about it, reading about it, understanding it. It’s simply not in our nation’s interest and could affect the millions of people out there who consistently vote against their self-interests. That’s troubling.”


Before announcing his party’s opposition to math, Boehner consulted with Louisiana Republican John Fleming, who earlier in the day complained that, after taxes and paying employees at several Subway shops he owns, he only has $400,000 left over to feed his family. “See, that’s math,” said Boehner, referring to Fleming’s shockingly small amount of food money left after taxes. “We don’t need that around here.”

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2 Responses to Boehner, GOP Leaders Roll Out Plan to Oppose Math

  1. September 23, 2011 at 11:20 pm

    Math is morally wrong. It contains numbers! You don’t need those things around if you’re faking the budget!

  2. Tex
    September 22, 2011 at 10:39 am

    Great jobs, made me laugh!

    Peace,
    Tex Shelters

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